Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Store Happenings

I love interacting with complete strangers, there's no pressure on the brief encounter (unless, of course, they make you nervous with their attractiveness). Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my favorite encounters with people I've only ever seen once in my life:

While I was working at Mervyns (years ago) this jewish couple came into the store (I think they were buying some pants for the husband), but as they were purchasing whatever it was they were purchasing the husband reads my nametag and says, "that's not a real name..."
to which I replied, "yeah it is."
So he asked "how do you say it?"
"Elspeth"
Then he turns to his wife and says with a glint (or apple if you prefer) in his eye, "our next daughter..."
But the funny part is when his wife replied, "tell her how old I am and how we're not going to have any more children."

That seemed the end but as they were walking out I heard him say, "she said it was a real name..."
"David!"
"she said it was a real name..."

Next, just recently, when I went to Barnes and Noble (you probably remember the book buying frenzy) I was just browsing through the store when I heard one of the clerks say, "Get me off this crazy little thing..."
To which I replied, "...called love."
He then chuckled and said, "I love that."
And while he was walking away he said, "It's like an orange on a toothpick!"
If you haven't seen So I Married an Axe Murderer then you won't get this reference, but I was really happy that I decided to complete that sentence.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Love has an Acronym

This probably won't come as a shock to you but I love television, the tube, tv... brain rotting, whatever name you have for it, that's what I love! I personally feel that anyone who doesn't like it, or even just claims not to like it, is insane. TV combines my need to do something with my innate laziness. I can watch, and will most likely enjoy, almost anything that comes through that beautiful box. But, what is really great about it is when you find a show that fascinates you to the point where you don't want to do anything else but watch it. I have a lot of shows like this: Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Alias, Lost, Fringe, One Tree Hill, the first two seasons of Heroes, and (I'm a little ashamed of this one) Roswell, to name a few. There is just something delightful about watching television that I can't get enough of it. If you're going to hate on me for this, go ahead, but I'm going to keep watching too much TV and enjoying every minute of it!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Jamie D. Patel

April 27, 1983 - Feburary 11, 2010
To Jamie, who always demanded that everyone be themselves:

Jamie to Dave: "You need some package handling?"
Winni (Dave's wife): "That's my job."

Carissa: "What time is it?"
Jamie: "It's a quarter 'til."
Carissa: "So it's like 7:30 then?"

Jamie: "Drape this money all over me so I look like a dead hooker."

Jamie: "I love feeling out of place first thing in the morning"

Jamie: "I've spent years trying to be obese, and it's not working out"

Jamie: "If I got 5 bucks for every time I was licked on at this job I'd walk out of here with 15 grand."

Jamie: "If pooping is anything like childbirth then I'm a little jealous"

Jamie: "it's not crazy like: 'I want 500 pizza's... here's a penny', or 'thanks for my pizza, now could you sit on it?'"

Jamie: " 'Aight, I can't hang out with you when you're in heat."

Jamie: "I must be dyslexic, cause I saw those pedestrians crossing the road and I thought one of them was wearing a bear suit."

Jamie: "This really does give a lot of support."

Jamie: "I honestly thought he was sane, my mistake."

Jamie: "I hate how I love you guys."

Jamie: "I need some validation about cankles in my life."

Jamie: "There's only one thing that wakes me up, and that's apologies!"

Jamie: "Food for the masses makes me reek!"

Jaime: "Guess what? We went fishing yesterday and I caught no fish, but Elspeth caught two!"

Jamie: "You need to control your hair."

Me: "Jamie, are we going to be friends forever?"
Jamie: "I hope so."

We all will miss him very much. Please comment with stories or quotes, favorite moments of Jamie.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee

Lindsay just introduced me to this shirt found on amazon.com, and while this shirt is pretty rad the best part is the first review below, enjoy:


5.0 out of 5 stars Dual Function Design, November 10, 2008
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Enchantment

I was just at Barnes & Noble (an inferior book store, I know) with Hollila and could not help buying some books even though I have like 10 that I need to read right now. I bought a compilation of 7 Jane Austen books, and Peter Pan because they had beautiful covers (and because I wanted to own them):


I probably didn't need to buy these books right now, but who knows how long they'll be there (I really love those covers). I feel like books are a good thing to spend money on though. Movies are great, but there is nothing like holding a book in your hand and reading it. Holly said it best: "I feel bad when I buy movies, but books are just special." I'm reminded of a part in The Great Gatsby when Gatsby is having a party and some drunk (I think they call him Owl-eyes) wanders into his library and is astounded by the fact that "the books are real!" That phrase has stuck with me ever since I read that story in high school, because I think it meant that Gatsby's life wasn't all a front. I want to have a library like that some day where I can look at all the real books I've read and share them with my kids.

It's interesting to be working with children who are barely learning how to read. I mean, thinking about it now, it is kind of a big responsibility. Depending on how well I teach them, it could shape their entire future. Books have meant the world to me, and continue to mean the world to me, and I hope that I can help these kids so that their future can be fashioned by the books they read.