Stay Awake Syndrome

I think some people would make the mistake of calling this insomnia, but they'd be wrong. I don't know what's wrong with me but there comes a point at night when I'm tired and if I just finish my nightly routine then I can go to sleep but I take forever to actually do it.

I think it also has something to do with the internet. I mean, while sometimes the usual hot spots on the internet can be pretty boring (facebook, blogstalking, email (which has basically gone the way of caller I.D.: super cool when it first came out and now is just another way for me to reject people who want to stay in contact with me), etc.) there are still a million things to entertain yourself with on the internet.

I'm an addiction junkie. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But this does mean that once I've committed to whatever I've just stumbled upon I won't stop until I know most everything about it, despite the time. So when I suddenly discover the wonder of multitracks then I'm gunna watch at least a dozen of them. And when I find a blog that speaks to the geek in me I won't be able to stop reading until I've seen every "Best Post". Or when I actually feel like connecting with people then I do turn to facebook and look at all their pictures, notes, and any other fun things on their wall. I think I'm best at stalking when it's late at night. But I guess that's why stalkers are usually depicted at night. Hey, maybe they're not really creepers they're just people looking to procrastinate going to bed? Think about it.

Dear Hulu,

Who knew how great you would be? I sure didn't. In fact, when I first heard about you, I thought that Todd was speaking baby talk, and that you really couldn't be as fabulous as he claimed you were (not to mention the fact that I couldn't find you because I thought you were spelled wholoo). I am so happy to say that he was right.

As the years have gone by, my love for you has grown directly proportionate to how many shows you've gained the rights to exhibit with short commercial breaks. I don't know what my need for an addiction would be placed on without your endless tracks of television.

Thank you for telling me what shows I would like based on what I watch. Thank you for putting the most popular shows on your front page. But most of all, thank you for adding ABC shows to your ranks (don't worry, we'll get The CW one of these days...).

I don't know how (except the fact that I go to your page more than once a day), but you've made me who I am. You have changed my world forever, and I never want to go back to those long ago days when I had to watch a show when it was first aired (or more recently when it was blurry because I was watching them on a Chinese website). Oh bless you Hulu, because now I don't have to be subject to air! Now I am subject only to nets.

Hulu, you are the reason that Al invented the internet. You are its crowning achievement.

Thank you Hulu, thank you.

Second Life

This is my 50th post, how exciting is that? Some of you may have read a different 50th post but now you see it's not there. The obvious answer to this dilemma is that you went back in time, from before I wrote the post: SURPRISE ATTACK!! I know that's what happened to me, if only it had warped me to before I ever saw Legends of the Fall...

Anyway, I was inspired by a comment that Lindsay (Dick, to those unfortunate enough to not know who I'm talking about) made earlier this evening. We were talking about Chuck and how the character Bryce Larkin technically died on that show, but she said, "he didn't really die, he just went into protective services and is now Neil Caffrey who solves crime with the FBI" (okay so those aren't her exact words, but who has the time to memorize exactly what people say (Colton)). So, I thought it would be interesting to take a journey with some of my favorite TV actors through their characters. Here we go:

Mark-Paul Gosselaar

Most of us know him as lovable and oh so charming Zack Morris. He was definitely my first TV crush. Well, apparently when you grow up with privilege (I mean he probably had the first cell phone ever made) what you really turn out to be is a gritty police officer in New York. I really can't understand why someone who got Kelly Kapowski (who is now, btw, married to the FBI agent that Neil Caffrey works with... coincidence?) in high school and made every teenage girl's heart swoon would then grow out his hair and become disgusting, but if you've got something to prove...

David Boreanaz

This one is easy because of course a soulful vampire would want to solve crimes. In fact, I believe Angel tried to help stop other vampires from killing people. And now Special Agent Seeley Booth (sounds like an alias to me) works exclusively with skeletal remains. I think it's because he doesn't want to be tempted by the blood residing in normal cadavers.

Neil Patrick Harris

Barney Stinson's misogynistic ways can clearly be traced back to the fact that he was a doctor by 14. If I grew up with so much power I definitely would be legen... wait for it, wait for it, I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is... dary.

Lauren Graham

She started out as a quirky commitment-phobe with mother issues and now she's a quirky commitment-phobe with daddy issues. I think she's definitely branching out.

Courteney Cox

Well, apparently after Chandler and her moved to the country with their baby(s?) they decided that it just wasn't going to work out because now she's obviously divorced and living the dangerous life of a cougar (if you don't know what that means then you are too far behind in pop culture to even understand this post). Poor Monica, all she ever wanted was someone to love her.

Rainn Wilson

This Tim Alan loving alien turned out all right. He now sells paper and is loving Steve Carell instead. I think it's an improvement, personally. (This one is a stretch because technically I'm referencing a movie...)

And my favorite person right now:

Joshua Jackson

This boy has had a hard life, first he had to learn how to do the Flying V to save the hockey game, and then he had to love Joey Potter. But finally he's grown up and now investigates The Pattern with his nutty professor father and love-of-his-life Olivia. I'm proud of that boy.

This message was sponsored by our good friends over at IMDB.com. If you have any other journeys that have inspired you please feel free to share them with us.

Ode To A Truck

My Nissan Frontier I admit is not great,

At least not to anyone else.

But when it was given to me, it was fate,

And when I see it my heart melts.

My adventures within it's doors have been many,

Including the Bump on which everyone screams.

The music fills its cabin with a cacophony,

And even beyond its fair seams.

Though old and wrinkled it may be,

I will miss it once summer is through.

For although it has never been mine technically,

We have been through quests not a few.

America's (Maybe) Got Talent

It's decided that people shouldn't be allowed to perform "talent" acts that look like it was put together one otherwise uneventful hour in someone's basement, or ones that are boring. Please save the operatic and solo piano numbers for your personal recitals. They're not entertaining to K-6th graders, or to the heckling teachers who's laughter embarrassingly and unintentionally fills the room (sorry about that...). If you must sing by yourself it would be appreciated if you wouldn't just stand there and sing, if we wanted to watch a song we would stare at our speakers. Big group numbers are mostly fun but make sure there are some flashy streamers and LOTS of movement. But I really think the problem lies with the so-called judges decisions on who gets to perform, you really should be more discriminating, don't give these kids false hopes for life. Also, if the show lasts more than an hour it's time to start cutting .

Oh the Hunger!

If you haven't already, you should read these books, and be excited for the last one:

Time Travel

That would have to be the biggest surprise attack of anyone's life. Or at least it seems that way in every story I've ever read/heard/seen about anyone who is shot through the 4th dimension. Although, I think that people make it more complicated to understand than it really is. I mean, is it really so hard to comprehend that while you may have been deported to the past your future is still relatively unknown? In other words: your future is happening in the past of the time you were born in but that doesn't make it set in stone, or spelled out for you. Or, is it so strange that someone coming from the future and explaining things changes the course of that time? On that note, I think if I were ever thrown back in time that I wouldn't be able to do anything significant because I would be too afraid that my actions would change the course of reality, even if I was assured that what I was doing was necessary.

Still, if I had to travel through time, here are the top ways I'd like it to happen:

5. Hit my head and wake up somewhere else

4. Slide on the river in the Rainbow Room

3. Fall through a worm-hole

2. Blink of my eyes (total control)

and...

1. Electrified phone booth

But lets be real: living in the age of computers and excellent TV is probably the best place for me, so I'm glad that time travel doesn't really exist (I think...).