Pride and Predjudice

Is it me or does everyone else sigh with relief when you walk into the break room and no one is inside? I mean, I actually have a mild anxiety attack when I think of having to chit-chat with people who I only share a workplace in common with. Actually, it doesn't just have to do with work, it's any place where I know that there will be someone I don't know very well trying to have a conversation with me. And it's not just because it's a little awkward, I think it mostly has to do with the fact that most people are stupid and I don't want to have to sift through their inanity to actually find some comment I can make that has anything remotely to do with what they're saying. I shouldn't have to work when I'm on a break, and that includes talking to people who would be working at Wal-Mart except for the fact that they have too many teeth. I have a limited number of times I can say, "Oh really?" before people start suspecting that I'm not paying attention to them, and that means that on some level I have to pay attention and that just makes me tired. I don't want to know anything about you. I don't want to have any pieces of your life floating around in my mind. And I definitely don't want to have to pity laugh at everything you say while your eyes are roaming around the room because in some part of your brain you know what you're saying is barely coherent.

So, when I walk into a room that is potentially containing people I get a little concerned. I know it's a little mean of me to feel this way, but as Mr. Bennet says, "I am heartily ashamed of myself... But don't despair; it'll pass, and no doubt more quickly than it should."

Phrases That Are Probably Cooler To Me Than To You

That's fine.

That guy just salted my game.

That makes me want to die.

Don't do that, it's a trap!

(The state of being) Rickroll'd.

That's just another sign that robots are taking over.

I am slow cookin' in here (can be used in a hot tub or just a hot room situation, but I think the hot tub one implies more of the crock pot imagery).

Look What I Did:

Twhat?!

First of all, if you haven't seen The Social Network trailer, watch this (don't get me started on the legitimacy of a movie about Facebook (a "company" that hasn't even been around for 10 years...)):

Secondly, watch this parody of the above trailer:

Okay, here's my deal with Twitter (cause I know you're all dying to hear my opinion about it, don't be shy, it's okay to admit to an Elspeth dependency), I think it's stupid and boring like the trailer said. But besides the fact that there's really no point to it, I could still probably get into it because I like to be in the know of what my favorite celebrities are doing. However the mere thought of all of those updates just makes me tired. I went on it once to look up stuff about The LXD and I was hit with information overload. I don't even know how to decipher what people are saying, there are too many symbols (soon we won't have to worry about mechanical robots taking over the world because we'll all be speaking binary code (aka we'll be the robots)). Not to mention the fact that even if I only follow one person I still will have to know who all the rest of the people are who post on their page, or else I'll be totally lost. It just seems like too much work, so I don't do it... and there is the philosophy of my life.

Cerebellumed!

It's official, I am once again suckered into loving children that aren't mine, and are actually kind of annoying... What is it about kindergarteners who don't know how to be quiet, haven't figured out how a lunch line works, or can't even remember their full names that just gets me in my emotions heart? This year we have 28 kids, one of which is probably special ed and still wears a diaper, and after spending 4 hours with them instead of being brought almost to insanity (which any sane person would be so maybe it's already happened) I'm actually elated. My guess is that either I've found my calling in life or I've gotten to the point where my body is trained not to feel exhaustion. Suffice it to say, I love kindergarten, although I'm not in an ESL class anymore and I kinda miss the diversity. Still, life is good when I get to hang out with crazy kids all morning!

You know, I never really understood the poster that said, "All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten" until I started this job. Being at school for the first time really sets you up for life. You have to be trained on so many things, like how to stand in line, how to treat other people in large settings, respect, and a myriad of other social cues that I could probably name for days. The amount of societal structure learned in the first few months of kindergarten is pretty insane. I just got a little nervous...

If you send your kid to my classroom and they come back thinking singing out loud is just what you do when there's nothing else going on I'm probably going to deny I had any involvement, but feel free to blame me anyway (I really can't help it).

Taste of Tucson

Don't worry, I'm not gunna feed you dirt or beans. This is more of a mental taste of the fun times I've had this summer:

Zac: "Wait, what? the No-tell Motel? That's where you go for speed humps?"

Brandon: "I'm always down for being in the bathroom naked, but never with my pants on. Someone else's pants: occasionally."

JK: "I'm okay with most things but sucking on my plate is not one of them."

Alex: "I don't make it hot, I make it cozy."

Caden: "Make sure you wash that slut off."

Jarom: "Porn shops go where they need to go to get business."

Jenny: "I think it's the smut couch over there."

Luca: "Please tell Brandon I don't do guys."

Sasha: "Riding a horse? I don't get it, then you'd just get there faster."

Jon: "I win, I stayed on the chair all night."

The Bat Cave: "One and done."

Zac: "Thanks for letting me lick your finger."

Tow Truck Driver Charlie: "I've seen all these people spraying down the dirt in their yards, they must just be trying to clean the dirt."

Oh Tucson, I think I love you even more now!

Indie Rage

I don't know what musical orientation everyone out there is so if you're not of the indie (aka white-bred-ultimately-failed-with-regular-rock-and-now-trying-a-new-way-to-stick-it-to-the-man-neosis) rock persuasion then I don't know how well you'll be able to relate to the rest of this post. But I think there's a little bit of Indie Rage in all of us so you should be fine.

What I have named Indie Rage is the feeling you get after you've discovered a gem of a band that no one knows about, shared it with all of your friends, and now they know the words as well as you do so you're obviously not the trend setter (or cool) anymore. The Rage feels not just angry, but also like someone has invaded your personal area and tried to take over. It can be frustrating and agitating. I mean, you're always trying so hard to be ahead of the pack and now you've been shoved back in it.

This rage doesn't necessarily have to do with music either. It can be anything that no one knows about until you demonstrate it for them and then they are in a loop that you wanted to be sole ruler of. And in that statement is a paradox which I don't know how to get out of. I'll start to explain this with a question: what makes life meaningful?

Life is meaningful when you share it with other people. I firmly believe that without a close circle of friends, people would disintegrate (not physically (although that would be cool) but rather emotionally and spiritually). Consequently, when you find something awesome what would it be worth if you couldn't share it with your friends? I know from experience that it definitely does not mean as much until I've shown it to other people. But then when those other people have learned the lyrics that I memorized first, the Rage comes in and I am left feeling like I was stripped of something special. Of course there are people who feel the Rage so strongly that they take it too far and never share anything with anybody. I think these people either a. take themselves too seriously, or b. are a bit socially inept and therefore don't have anyone to share it with anyway.

So, how do I make something meaningful and also special? Is believing these words to be opposite a fallacy? Does the fault lie with my personal beliefs, or with what society has engendered in me? Maybe people are not meant to live in large quantities. I think we all want to be unique but when we're surrounded by droves we see all the pieces of ourselves and conclude that there isn't a way to actually be anomalous.

I'm not saying that I think everyone should live in a small town. And I'm definitely not suggesting that there isn't a way to be singular, or that we should stop trying to achieve that. What I am suggesting is that by trying to standout with choices, like music, that are inherently meant to be shared, we'll never produce something original. We need to let go of the Indie Rage causing parts of our personalities and just accept the conglomeration of ourselves which genuinely makes us special. Or, in other words, recognize that our whole is greater than the sum of our parts.