Friday, October 23, 2009

The Recluse's Life

I know that some of the readers of this blog believe that I have turned into a recluse, and I'm not here to deny it, in fact, I'm going to legitimize it. Here are a few facts about how awesome it is to be a recluse:

Fact 1. The recluse has a more comprehensive knowledge about pop culture since most of their day consists of watching t.v., reading, or basically participating in any activity that a school kid enjoys on their sick days.

Fact 2. Because of the above mentioned knowledge, a recluse is able to "get" more jokes that reference said culture and is therefore generally thought of as a well informed person.

Fact 3. The recluse's life is obviously not very social and therefore they do not have to entertain people too often. This, of course, means that there is less need of a spotless house and not as much cleaning has to take place (but a good recluse will still clean an appropriate amount or go crazy).

Fact 4. Spending a lot of time at home does not always mean sitting in a dark basement losing track of how many days have gone by without showering. It also means that a recluse has time to do projects around the house such as below-posted redecorating and training their sister's cat (and their brother) to stop whining so much.

Fact 5. A recluse has the opportunity to be creative with their time namely because it does tend to get boring doing the same things over and over again. Therefore, developing latent talents such as, watercolor painting and learning to throw a ball with your foot, become a part of your everyday life.

Fact 6. A recluse will try harder than anyone, and is most likely to achieve the highest score of internet games of all sorts, including, but not limited to: bubbleshooter, tetris, bejeweled, and ninja ropes.

And finally, the best part about being a recluse is that you get to develop social anxiety to the point where you are more willing to talk to 22 five-year-olds than have a conversation with an adult.

I hope this has broadened your horizons on the validity of being a recluse and that in the future you will not judge us so harshly.

9 comments:

Sondra said...

When being a recluse motivates one to clean the house it's worth everything.

Sondra said...

And training your brother? Awesome!

Sondra said...

And...a recluse does not necessarily sequester themselves inside. My favorite reclusive activity includes wandering unknown city streets alone, stopping often to gaze at tall or interesting buildings and wonder what's inside and what all the strangers are doing and why.

Rachel and Jacob said...

Jealous!!!!! Now I want to be a recluse. Elspeth single handedly making it cool to be a recluse.

Sondra said...

and taking Emma's place seamlessly.

Bethany said...

hahaha this post is hilarious! And I will still judge you harshly! hahaha jk but seriously! haha I love that you said train your brother...he needs a lot of training!

AshleeB said...

You should be paid for being a recluse. Srsly. I mean it can get boring, and I dont know how many people can actually do it like you can. You could probably even apply for TMZ, because your so well versed in pop culture!
Think about it.

Elspeth said...

I wish I could be paid for being a recluse! My life would be different! Well, mostly the same but I think the butt imprints in the couch would be deeper...

Colton said...

"Us"? So you have multiple personalities now? You failed to mention that as a side effect of reclusive-ness. This changes everything.