Kids in the Hall

As I've mentioned before, I'm an aide in a kindergarten class, and I absolutely love it! There is literally no other job I could imagine being better for me than this one. It's not one of those lame jobs that's just earning money, I actually feel like I'm a part of the world, and I genuinely have fun with all of those kids. Yes, sometimes I want to kill myself and some of the kids along with me, and there are those kids that I wish I did not have to deal with, but mostly I just love it. Anyway, here are some pictures to show you how cute my kids are (these are from the Phoenix Zoo, the cafeteria, and the last one is from a dance party we had a few days ago):

He's doing his old man dance, he also knows all the words to Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me", it's adorable

An Elspeth Digital Short (or three)

Wii Would Like to Play

My sister has told me that no one else loves Mario Kart as much as I do, which may be true, but I'm pretty sure there are some hard core Mario Kart-ers out there. I don't know what's so fascinating about that game, but if you've never played it, you need to (the Wii version)! Here's an ode to that game that I can't get enough of:

The Lovely Gnomes

As before mentioned, here is my post about my gnomes, finally. If you don't know me then you don't know about my mild obsession with these little guys. If you do know me, you've definitely heard about them before but I'll reiterate just so everyone's clear. I think I started loving them when I was watching Gilmore Girls (the first time) and Babette had garden gnomes that were adorable and I was enchanted with them. So, when my friend and I decided to come up with contingency plans in case we don't get married I decided to become the Gnome Lady, this includes moving them around my yard and talking to them to achieve the coveted "lets walk on the other side of the street" label from the neighborhood children.

Of course, once people find out about my love for gnomes they see them everywhere and will send me pictures and sometimes even buy them for me. Actually, I have only ever bought three gnomes that were each a dollar. Sadly two of them have died due to breakage. Also, I just want to make a note that I loved gnomes way before this new craze for them started, which makes them MY gimmick and I will fight anyone who tries to take it from me...

Okay, back to the gnomes, from left to right: Lumber Gnome (he has an axe hidden behind him), Gnombledor (cause he has the glasses and looks a bit gay), Gnome Alaska (he's the first one I was ever given), Gnomo (the big one in the back, he's Italian), Gnome Chompsky (the one with the goose), Gnome Mercy (cause he has poison in his watering bucket), Oh Gnome You Didn't (he is a little beat up), Hear Gnome Evil (his two brothers, Speak Gnome Evil and See Gnome Evil are the ones that shattered), and Hosier Gnome (cause he was liberated from an Indiana yard). Now, you might be thinking to yourself, she forgot to tell us the name of the one on the shelf below, but I didn't forget about him, I just forgot what we named him. We had a really good name for him, but it has been removed from my brain (possibly by aliens who are jealous), so if you want to try naming him, be my guest! He is a special gnome though because he talks when people walk past him, mostly negative things too.

Lumber Gnome

Gnombledor, Gnome Alaska, Gnomo, and Gnome Chompsky

Gnome Mercy, Oh Gnome You Didn't, and Hear Gnome Evil

Hosier Gnome

Suffice it to say, I think they're great and can't wait to have a real yard to put them in, even though I'm afraid they'll probably get stolen, but, as Mufasa tells us, that's the circle of life.

I Went Outside and It Was a Bad Decision

Let me start by saying that it's Spring Break for me, which should imply that I do not get ready for the day until it's night. This means that when Emma, Holly, and I decided to go eat fresh today I was in a greasy state and therefore not going to get out of the car, so I sent the girls in with my order instead. As I was sitting outside of Subway, trying not to look any passersby in the eyes, this weirdo guy who was probably on drugs (he WAS eating Pizza Patron, if you know what I mean...) rushes out with a bulging mouth which I just know is full of puke. I didn't have to wonder about that for long because he almost immediately starts spewing throw-up on the ground in a mad rush for the trash can. Of course I watch most of this happen (who could look away?) but, in an effort to give him some privacy, I turn away before he's finished. I know that if I had just retched in a can I wouldn't want anyone looking at me when it's over, that would be awkward. But of course I couldn't not glance back a few seconds later, and when I did that guy was looking at me, seeming actually trying to get my attention. He was waving his hands in an effort (I think) to say that it was okay that I had seen whatever was in his stomach come back out. I think I gave him a little nod and then I looked away again. When I glanced back the second time, he had moved toward the door but was still looking at me and put his fingers to his mouth in the universal sign for cigarette to which I awkwardly shook my head and then looked away determined never to have him in my sight line again. But when he went back inside (he actually ate more pizza) I was looking at Emma with "can-you-believe-what-just-happened" eyes and when I swept the rest of the room that weirdo was staring at me with a "haha-you-just-saw-me-throw-up-and-now-I-think-I-want-you-to-have-my-children" grin on his face. That time I moved my head so that something was blocking his face from mine and never did look back.

You see, this is why I don't go out more often...

Fanny Pack Packers

I knew that fanny packs were humorous, but I did not realize just how hilarious (high-larious as my Dad would say) they were until I did a google image search. I thought I'd brighten your day with the best ones I found, enjoy:

My Life Story

Do you ever think about what few words would describe your life, or is that just what recluses think about? A few of the titles that I think would work for my own autobiography are:

This Double-Chin of Mine

Pie Lovers (Not-so-) Anonymous

When Your Best Friends are Fictional

Living Comfortably Means Wearing Pajamas

Trying to Live Without the Symptoms of Reality

Living with Creative Jealousy

A Complex Made of Books

and,

When White Walls Turn Brown

You're turn:

(also, as a special bonus, if you comment I'll make one up for you, providing that I know you well enough to do so, or else I'll just BS it...)