Do You Ever Have a Hard Time Cutting Through Pennies?

Right now I'm a knife sales woman. Cutco knives, only the best. In a normal demonstration we go through each knife in a particular set and tell the names and uses of each. But I wanted to put my own little spin on it so I gave each a nickname (Sasha helped out too).

You have your:

"Dice it up nice" parring knife,

"Never squish another tomato" trimmer,

"No brownie left behind" spatula spreader,

"My jack-o-lantern is the best" petite carver,

"Can cook my bacon and eat it too" turning fork,

"Didn't need time to defrost" butcher knife,

"Fresh from the oven with butter" slicer,

"No plug-in required to cut through this bird" carving knife and fork,

"Look I'm pro already" chef knife,

"Bad boy" hardy slicer,

"Saves you time to work on that sudoku" santoku knife,

"I actually cut the cheese" cheese knife,

"Even if my meat is tough no one will notice 'til they chew" table knife,

and,

"Really does lift and separate" cleaver.

Now if those nicknames don't make you want to buy a set of knives from me then I don't know what will...