What I have named Indie Rage is the feeling you get after you've discovered a gem of a band that no one knows about, shared it with all of your friends, and now they know the words as well as you do so you're obviously not the trend setter (or cool) anymore. The Rage feels not just angry, but also like someone has invaded your personal area and tried to take over. It can be frustrating and agitating. I mean, you're always trying so hard to be ahead of the pack and now you've been shoved back in it.
This rage doesn't necessarily have to do with music either. It can be anything that no one knows about until you demonstrate it for them and then they are in a loop that you wanted to be sole ruler of. And in that statement is a paradox which I don't know how to get out of. I'll start to explain this with a question: what makes life meaningful?
Life is meaningful when you share it with other people. I firmly believe that without a close circle of friends, people would disintegrate (not physically (although that would be cool) but rather emotionally and spiritually). Consequently, when you find something awesome what would it be worth if you couldn't share it with your friends? I know from experience that it definitely does not mean as much until I've shown it to other people. But then when those other people have learned the lyrics that I memorized first, the Rage comes in and I am left feeling like I was stripped of something special. Of course there are people who feel the Rage so strongly that they take it too far and never share anything with anybody. I think these people either a. take themselves too seriously, or b. are a bit socially inept and therefore don't have anyone to share it with anyway.
So, how do I make something meaningful and also special? Is believing these words to be opposite a fallacy? Does the fault lie with my personal beliefs, or with what society has engendered in me? Maybe people are not meant to live in large quantities. I think we all want to be unique but when we're surrounded by droves we see all the pieces of ourselves and conclude that there isn't a way to actually be anomalous.
I'm not saying that I think everyone should live in a small town. And I'm definitely not suggesting that there isn't a way to be singular, or that we should stop trying to achieve that. What I am suggesting is that by trying to standout with choices, like music, that are inherently meant to be shared, we'll never produce something original. We need to let go of the Indie Rage causing parts of our personalities and just accept the conglomeration of ourselves which genuinely makes us special. Or, in other words, recognize that our whole is greater than the sum of our parts.
3 comments:
That reminds for finding out you're going to have a baby. At first you want it to be your secret but pretty soon you can't stand not telling everyone and then it's not yours anymore.
It's like finding out your mother likes the same artists you do or you like her favorite song. Sort of spoils it for you.
I realize that this is kind of a delayed response, but I was in Grand Canyon, so you have to cut me some slack.
I agree with you partly: where you say that being original isn't accomplished with liking a band or a movie or a book. You can never be original unless you CREATED the music or the movie or the the book. There will always be someone before you that thought it was great. Maybe not in your circle of friends, but the point is that you are just jumping on someone else's bandwagon, albeit before your friends.
So my final answer is that in order to be truly cool and unique (which I think we all strive for to some degree) you need to BECOME original and creative. Anytime you feed off someone else's ideas, you are selling out. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it, because it would be exhausting to have to completely entertain ourselves all the time. Just don't adorn yourself with other people's crap and then pretend that it makes you original. You should cover yourself with your own crap.
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